It is now 8:45 PM and I am at York university. I wrote
PSYB65 successfully. I think I did pretty well.
Well, after my exam,
my mom called to see how I did and I said fine. I told her I am going to
York to see pishi. She asked how are u going there? And I replied. 20 minutes later while I was on the
go bus, my dad called as said: “salam che tori baba joon. Kojayee?”
I hate it when they act like this. I don’t appreciate worriness
of this kind at allllll. I told him, khoobam mersi tooye go busam daram miram
York. He said yeah , I know. Your mom told me that’s why I called to see how u
are.
Manam behem bar khord amma aroom amma jeddi goftam: “ bache
ke nistam baraye har chizi negaran shin. Alan agebache dashtam 5 salesh bood.”
And he said, man kari nadaram, bacheye mani o azin harfa.
Manam goftam man kheili annoy misham and he said bacheye
mani. Then I said baba I am really tired. Kari nadarin? Then he hold the phone
for few seconds and hung up.
After 10 seconds my mom called and I told her the same
thing. She said man kari nadaram zang zadam faghat harf bezanam. Manam goftam
well, u don’t have time to talk to me on the phone when I call during the day.
Now u want to talk? And I ended the conversation.
I don’t know what has happened to me but I don’t like to answer
any irrelevant question to anyone (specially my parents that I am in touch).
And to be honest I really don’t care ke beheshoon bar bekhore for a while. I
cannot answer to every question and I cannot make everyone happy. I hate making
everyone happy. They should also learn that I get annoyed. And if they want to
know if I am fine or not, they better find a better way instead of asking
kojayee. And to be honest I don’t think there was no necessity for him to call.
My mom would call any way and he would know. I don’t appreciate this kind of
negarani.
I know they care but caring has its own limits. Caring means
u should act upon something, not just knowing that I am fine. Caring means
waking up on a Saturday morning at 7 and come and give me my student card.
Kheili stage ajibi az zendegim ro daram migzaroonam. I
always blame being still student as the cause of all these behaviours.
Fortunately I am close to 30 and naturally I am getting annoyed and it is close
to my graduation. I will never have a kid and I will never be a mother. But It
doesn’t mean that I am incaplable and child for someone else.
That’s all.
I am at second up at York and waiting for pishi’s class to
end. So we can go home. I am really tired. I have been studying non-stop for
the past 8 days.
God help me establish a lot of things. The problem is that I
am getting settled in my personal school and work life a little later than what
I am suppose to and this has affected people’s behavior towards me. And truthfully, other than all these, I think
my own way of behavior which is always charming and happy has caused all these
things.
Help me show them that I am not a student and I don’t
appreciate a lot of things. I don’t care if they learn it or not . I just
want to make sure that I am happy and
that’s how I become happy
I know my dad doesn’t have any bad intention but I am tired
of them being worried about me for the past 30 yrs. Just detach . detach. I
don’t want these attachments. It is not good for you and definitely I hate it
too. I don’t think any girl has cared
this much about her family. It is time for me to keep myself and my own own
small family happy.
Sorry my mind is really tired so my writing may be a little
wired. Just wrote to keep it in my diary
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