Our Baby Simba

hi,
Omg I am so happy...
two nights ago pishi told me that the other purdy breeder was actually a broker and we are better off not purchasing our puppy from them. that was the only hope that we had.
pishi told me not to worry and he told that he will find a good breeder and good puppy.
one day after that which was yesterday around 5 PM, he called me and said he has found the love of his life. I looked at the pics and I fell in love with the puppy on the first site and on the first picture.
So, I called the breeder and she told me that the puppy whose name is Izzo is still available but they are more than 5 hours far from toronto.
pishi came home and said that we should go and see him. after a few phone calls to the breeder, my BAHAL pishi started booking hotel in Montreal and we rented a car for tomorrow morning to go there.
Belive it or not, as crazy as we are, we decided to make it like a trip and we are going to stay in Montreal for two days and have some fun as well.
However, ;)..... do not ignore the fact that pishi has his final exam on the coming friday and I have a paper due and two final exams in the next 9 days. but as we said always, we wanted to live an extra-ordinary and unusual life and we made it. most of our memories are the ones with unusual and pleasanet reactions and places that we went to see at times when no one would do so :D:D:D:D:D and this is the beaury of our lives.
so, one important things is that PEOPLE SHOULD ALWAYS LEAVE THE WORK TO THE PROFESSIONALS like pishi ;)
as always, he made his promise and we made it a fun trip.
it is now 5:15 PM on friday. pishi is at work. I finished my assignment for D33, and I want to start cleaning the house and pack up our stuff for our trip. I have to pack up Simba's toys and blankets as well. yeeeeeeeeeeeey
my baby boy is coming home in 3-4 weeks. we love him so much. let's hope for the best and wish that he is as sweet as he shows in the picture, then everything is perfectly set. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.
tomorrow by this time, we have seen our cutie son and from what I know from pishi and I, we are going crazy at this time tomorrow or if Izzo is not matching our tatste, we are as cold as ice. LOL
but I am kind of sure Izzo is our puupy.
here is few pics of this cutie gentle man.....

shut the...up

why can't you just shut the fuck up???????????????
I am so hateful of your double-standard and unstable personality and belief........
for god's sake you have born to be a women..
what the fuck is wrong with you in this world?
didn't you fucking your life lesson?

I am so ashamed of humans actions, thoughts and....

anyways!!! god bless you
what you say and what you do, every day makes me realize how much I wish I never met you...
never seen such a wiered person in my life,... at this age? no way...
try to make mistakes like everyone else so at least I could say you don't understand. the problem is that I know you understand what you are saying....
I don't even know how pishi grew up with you guys. even a single similarity between you guys, would cause me and pishi not to end up together.

anyways!!!!
gotta get back to my assignment, I am at Robarts and  I have more important things to attend other than your khale zanak personality which is causing me to become one and I won't let that happen.
You are going out my loop which is good ...

bye for now

change

hi,
it is 4:23 and I am in Robart's library doing assignmnet for d33.
since last time that I wroyte in my blog, a lot of things has changed.
I handed in two assignments and I am working on the 4th paper that is due this tuesday.

last saturday we went and saw the caramel simba in hamilton and we terminated the contract and didn't buy him cause he did not look like as we expected and he had disability issues I guess ;)
it has been three days that I have changed my paradigm and decided to make a balance as much as possible between my school life and my personal life and it sounds that it has worked already.

I splitted this balance between:
1- school
2- gym
3- diet
4- pishi and .... ( pending to be done today ;))
5- taking care of home.

I am a bit calmer now even though my school stuff is not being done as fast as before, but I am in a healthy mood and my school is going well with a slower pace.

anyways. I have to review an article now. gotta go

D33 assignment

I was so worried about my unfinished assignement so I woke up in the morning and worked on it straight until 1 PM.
I wrote the assignment single spaced and when I double-spaced it with the required fond, I realized that i am one page short. so I had to add a lot of stuff which I did but still it didn't end up being full 8 pages.
well I'd rather lose mark for shorter assignment than him giving me shit for putting stupid material in my paper.
anyways!

I sent the asssignement to pishi and due to some technical difficulty ;) LOL with my phone and stuff, I didn't send the proper doc to pishi. it is now 2:22 PM and I am waiting for edited version of my paper.

mojgan called me and told me that their medical is completed and she told me that my brother knew. I texted him and told him u knew. he texted me back and said " injoori nist ke fek mikoni. behet baad az karam zang mizanam."
hala may be he is totally right or may be not.
let's see ;)

anyway ziadam baram mohem nist since I am changing my whole paradigm.
the only important thing is that me and pishi never hide anything from each other and we are happy.
Although I don't think p... had any bad intention but stull that does not matter.  I like him the way I always did but I just realized that how bi-siasat and childish my feelings are. well even if he didn't hide, it had a good lesson for me.:)
I take a lesson recently from everything. may be this was a very good one ;)

salam,
alan saat 10:17 shabe. pishi vaysade joloye man mige plastic boyee zadim too rah goosham terekid ;)
I woke up today and went to RBC at Union Station and came straight back to 11th floor to work on my assignment for D33. It is about RCT trials. it was a lot of work and it wasn't done. I have to wake up early in the morning and work on it since it was due tomorrow
right now, pishi put plastic boy in my ears and every second of my life is passing in front of my eyes every second it plays its bits in my ears.
this is the story of my life. full of UPS and DOWNS. wow... I grew up finally...finally...

I ran, I ran, 10 yrs..... very unfriendly life in front me. a lot of them couldn't even come out of my mouth. ,,,,,,,, then I met pishi....everything is changing... everything.... smoothing out....then life started to sing for me...

ummm,,,
anyways,
so just wanted to say that my mind has been very busy for the past two days.
It is been months that I couldn't wake up and do something that make me happy. it has been all about school and studying... I was already depressed when two nights ago that happened.
I was already in the middle of breaking but no one knew except pishi.
it is ok. I always say, that blow that doesn't make you bend, makes you a stronger person and I am not gonna fall down. I never did.
and this time I will fight it as well.
right now, I don't have much energy

I am crashing, I am falling,
sara, you really are killing me inside.........
I am really tired. it is not what happened two nights ago.
it is everything that is replaying in front of me...
why me? why so many crap has to pass in front of me whenever I wanna review my life?
why should the happiest moments of my adolescence be when I was friend with the most fucked up person which is Rana. interestingly  that was the only good moments which I was trying to escape from me and everyone else. other than that, everything was smashed and I was running and running...

and I guess pishi wanted to charm me, and he played suave mente in my ears ;) LOL and now I forget about everything and started dancing. hehehe....

suave mente,,,,,I make u feel u whatever....if u take me away..... LOL ;)
it's like dejavou babe ;)

anyways, after this I forgot what I wanted to write ;)
just wanted to say that i am very vulnerable at the moment and the only person who has always been in every moment by moment of my life is pishi and I am sure I ll get through this stage with pishim.
he has provided me with every peace in this house
only 4 more assignments and 3 final exams left ;) LOL
and about parents, later or sooner, I had to go through this stage. so better now.

On My Way to York U

It is now 8:45 PM and I am at York university. I wrote PSYB65 successfully. I think I did pretty well.

Well, after my exam,  my mom called to see how I did and I said fine. I told her I am going to York to see pishi. She asked how are u going there? And  I replied. 20 minutes later while I was on the go bus, my dad called as said: “salam che tori baba joon. Kojayee?”

I hate it when they act like this. I don’t appreciate worriness of this kind at allllll. I told him, khoobam mersi tooye go busam daram miram York. He said yeah , I know. Your mom told me that’s why I called to see how u are.

Manam behem bar khord amma aroom amma jeddi goftam: “ bache ke nistam baraye har chizi negaran shin. Alan agebache dashtam 5 salesh bood.” And he said, man kari nadaram, bacheye mani o azin harfa.

Manam goftam man kheili annoy misham and he said bacheye mani. Then I said baba I am really tired. Kari nadarin? Then he hold the phone for few seconds and hung up.

After 10 seconds my mom called and I told her the same thing. She said man kari nadaram zang zadam faghat harf bezanam. Manam goftam well, u don’t have time to talk to me on the phone when I call during the day. Now u want to talk? And I ended the conversation.

I don’t know what has happened to me but I don’t like to answer any irrelevant question to anyone (specially my parents that I am in touch). And to be honest I really don’t care ke beheshoon bar bekhore for a while. I cannot answer to every question and I cannot make everyone happy. I hate making everyone happy. They should also learn that I get annoyed. And if they want to know if I am fine or not, they better find a better way instead of asking kojayee. And to be honest I don’t think there was no necessity for him to call. My mom would call any way and he would know. I don’t appreciate this kind of negarani.

I know they care but caring has its own limits. Caring means u should act upon something, not just knowing that I am fine. Caring means waking up on a Saturday morning at 7 and come and give me my student card.

Kheili stage ajibi az zendegim ro daram migzaroonam. I always blame being still student as the cause of all these behaviours. Fortunately I am close to 30 and naturally I am getting annoyed and it is close to my graduation. I will never have a kid and I will never be a mother. But It doesn’t mean that I am incaplable and child for someone else.

That’s all.

I am at second up at York and waiting for pishi’s class to end. So we can go home. I am really tired. I have been studying non-stop for the past 8 days.

God help me establish a lot of things. The problem is that I am getting settled in my personal school and work life a little later than what I am suppose to and this has affected people’s behavior towards me.  And truthfully, other than all these, I think my own way of behavior which is always charming and happy has caused all these things.

Help me show them that I am not a student and I don’t appreciate a lot of things. I don’t care if they learn it or not . I just want  to make sure that I am happy and that’s how I become happy

I know my dad doesn’t have any bad intention but I am tired of them being worried about me for the past 30 yrs. Just detach . detach. I don’t want these attachments. It is not good for you and definitely I hate it too.  I don’t think any girl has cared this much about her family. It is time for me to keep myself and my own own small family happy.

Sorry my mind is really tired so my writing may be a little wired. Just wrote to keep it in my diary

UTSC and PSYB65

I just got to UTSC and it is 9:30 AM.
I have a neuroscience mid-term exam at 5 PM. I am very well prepared and I just need to go through my notes. I am sure I am even ready to write the exam even now.
I can't wait for this exam to be over. I really studied hard for this exam.
I have an assignment due tomorrow which still I don't know if I will be granted an extension.  I haven't heard anything from my Prof. yet. let's see and let's hope for the best.
As of now, my main focus on writing a good mid-term for this neuroscience.
I am very optimistic in getting extension. well, I better. this assignment worth 30% of my mark.
anyhow, I will write more after my exam is done. :)

and this pic shows where I am sitting at :) and it shows how hard I have tried for this exam.