Stop sharing your feelings..

Or you will be so disappointed. Once for all, stop it and accept that your feelings are your own and nobody even your husband gives a shit about it unless it's a happy feeling and there's excitement. Otherwise, they are your own to deal with.

Last night, I was craving for a kind word, for somebody to hold me tight and look into my eyes and tell me that he loves me so much, that I am the most precious thing is his life, and that no matter what he hold my hand. But it never happens. It's just all talk. Or and these words I have never heard them. He sometimes writes some nice things on Viber.

Last night, I was so alone. Got back from my parents. His mom talked non-stop. For some reason, I got a headache from all those noises and felt so depressed at night. Then I lied down and thought, reviewed a lot of things that had happened in my life, and things that I wish to have, I hugged myself so tight, caress my skin because although he was sleeping beside me, he never gives me that calmness and love when I most need it. Best case scenario, he sits and talks to me and for me it's better than nothing so I give in. I get lucky if I don't get to an argument because sometimes he attacks you at your most vulnerable moment. This morning he called, and I told him that I was really sad last night but I didn't cry and shared with him how I am planning to live in my silence because he can't even hug me when I most need it.
I told him that I am feeling so alone that I wanna get distant until I heal and his response was:
"when are you ever happy? You work you're not happy. You don't work you're not happy."

And in response, I asked him calmly not to call me today and goodbye.

And I didn't cry. My tears were about to come down but I didn't cry.
Stop sharing your feelings

I try to be with you as much as I can.
I am starting working in real estate from this week. I ll put my head down and will do my best and dedicate as much time to become successful. But I still need to stay silent, become emotionally independent and move on. In this house, I don't feel loved and appreciated. I feel like an extra piece of bloody cloth, that is only accepted if this cloth is washed and cleaned.

I have to stop talking.
Stop sharing your feelings
Stop wanting to be loved
Stop craving for a hug
I'll be much better off