Saddest Friday afternoon of my life...

My first kickboxing gloves

They started smelling so bad after 7 months until I decided to get a new Venum pair

109.5 lbs today

My home made lunch today

Mamoosh & her adventures

My grumpy girl's new spot today.
Ghorboonet beram man pashmake maman. 
Enghad sheytooni kard ta khabesh bord

Working from Parisco Cafe

This morning power of our entire building was out so for the first time after zillion years, I decided to go and work at this coffee shop beside our Bldg. I really enjoyed being out and sitting by the window and work.

I act like a prisoner and it's been going on since a long time but today was eye-opening and I'm gonna try getting out of home more often. Thanks to this work project that was due immediately which pushed me to get out and work from a coffee shop :)

I realized that it's even more productive this way. 

Cheers to many more times going out to a coffee shop. It really made me happy and less depressed and trapped in my daily routine

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Brunch at Pickel Barrel Etobicoke

Pishi and I went for a brunch on Saturday morning and I couldn't resist this fettucini pesto pasta. It was sooo delicious 

God! I'm so alone..

I feel so lonely. Cannot stop crying since I woke up this morning.

Sal... Has his own life. He doesn't really care. Never ever had he been home to have breakfast with me on a Friday at 9 AM but he has time to meet his mom for 1.5hrs for such a simple task.

I'm not mad at him anymore. I'm mad at myself. Something must change. It's time for that change. This has nothing to do with anyone, but there is a sadness inside me that is tearing apart my heart. That shall change and this shall also pass :(

I'm tired of him judging me when I'm sad and mad. I'm simply tired. Very very tired mentally and emotionally. 

There is no one on this planet that I can talk to except this blog that I sometimes write and even with this I am careful that he doesn't judge me or try not to come home and tells me "it's beneath you". 

I'm tired of crying silently. My heart is really broken from a lot of things. 

I'm even done talking about a lot of things. If I had to die right now, I wouldn't mind at all. I'm emotionally so exhausted. 

I can't type anymore. My tears are covering my eyes and I can't see. 

I can't tell universe today that I try to be strong today. I am so week today and need a cane almost to get up and start with my day. 

I wish there was a kind and long hug that would wrap me in his/her arms and would tell me that I'll be fine.