Friday, 7 June 2019

God! I'm so alone..

I feel so lonely. Cannot stop crying since I woke up this morning.

Sal... Has his own life. He doesn't really care. Never ever had he been home to have breakfast with me on a Friday at 9 AM but he has time to meet his mom for 1.5hrs for such a simple task.

I'm not mad at him anymore. I'm mad at myself. Something must change. It's time for that change. This has nothing to do with anyone, but there is a sadness inside me that is tearing apart my heart. That shall change and this shall also pass :(

I'm tired of him judging me when I'm sad and mad. I'm simply tired. Very very tired mentally and emotionally. 

There is no one on this planet that I can talk to except this blog that I sometimes write and even with this I am careful that he doesn't judge me or try not to come home and tells me "it's beneath you". 

I'm tired of crying silently. My heart is really broken from a lot of things. 

I'm even done talking about a lot of things. If I had to die right now, I wouldn't mind at all. I'm emotionally so exhausted. 

I can't type anymore. My tears are covering my eyes and I can't see. 

I can't tell universe today that I try to be strong today. I am so week today and need a cane almost to get up and start with my day. 

I wish there was a kind and long hug that would wrap me in his/her arms and would tell me that I'll be fine. 

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