One more person vaccumed from my heart ...

I am amazed and at the same time assured about why the world is following this path of irrationality in middle east. It's not caused by the givernments. The issule lies within each household and the closed-minded, uneducated individuals that fills them. 

I read a lot of books and novels and I can see why westerners are what they are. 

Abyhow, this morning i laughed and felt sorry for beloved aunt which I eliminated from my heart. It feels so good. Less attachments means more brain cells staying alive ;) 

Thanks to "secret" and my new welcomed view of the world. 

I am enjoying it :)

1st snowflake of winter :)

It's been such a beautiful snowflaky day so far :) 

The 1st sign of winter showed off with small snowflakes ❄️❄️❄️❄️

I am on top of all my tasks. Got an interview for job tomorrow. Went to liberty village today and bouncedvaround EQ3 and kitchen stuff. Got myself an aromatic breath taking hazelnut coffee. Sitting in the car and enjoying my surrounding while having the sips of my coffee carefully. 

Secret is working and I am so thankful and ambitious 😊

My Cooking Page.

Today, I am starting to write a blog on cookings that I’ll do until the rest of 2015. My inspiration comes from the movie that I saw last night “Julie and Julia”.

I will the cooking recipes that my beautiful aunt sent me few years ago for my birthday. I will cook different kinds of chickens, vegetables, soups, fish, and salads. Eskipi you have always be so kind and truthful to me. You have always been the kindest mom and aunt that I could ever ask for. Having all these books made me want to start cooking from these right healthy recipes.

This page is dedicated to my ESKIPI. The inspiration comes from the movie “Julie and Juilia”. Thanks for existence and presence of some few people that make this world a better place, and giving some people like me to want to live life to the fullest.

And

All the hope and motivation to do this page and cook with this much passion goes to my baby PISHI.  The only love of my soul and my existence. Without you, none of these were possible. Without you, I wouldn’t be so inclined to open this page. God knows, I would never see all these beautiful things in this world (at least at this stage and phase of my life). Thanks for making me feel alive and making me a better person.

Let’s eat and laugh together in the coming year. We’ll have so much fun trying to bring love and warm food in cold summer days and nights.

LOVE YOU FOREVER MY LOVE.

And most important of all, all the credit goes to you my baby. YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON THAT I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE AND YOUTHFUL.

Toronto, Canada.  Nov. 12, 14

From now on, anything food related will be posted on my Cooking Page on this blog :)

Feeling awsome

Oh damn, just wrote a bunch and i clicked cancelled

Well, will try to summerize. 

Since I got back from Iran, i feel so relaxed, happy, hopeful, and alive. Things that I haven't felt all at once for many many years.

I love life and being alive and I wanna use this opportunity to enjoy it to the max and make the best out of it with my baby. Pls god help me to stay like this forever bit feels soooo so awsome to appreciate life and to enjoy it with my only love Pishi. 

Cleaning the house and loving my baby

Today I cleaned the house as I am getting ready to leave to Iran on friday. I am left with den, pishi's washroom and the front entrance. 

I wanted to say that despite all the hardship and stupid serious arguements that we had for the past little while, i love you to death. I only feel safe when you are around me or at least when we are under the same sky. 

Few minutes ago, I felt that there is laundry in my stomach. I feel a little worried.i can't call it worriness exactly but I feel something that affected my body. I feel a little numb and dizzy. Things that happened with the asswhole family of my dad. And everyone. 

I know I dont have to be but I feel heartbroken. Anyway. 

I have a beautiful handsome husband and life. I now know what this is. Things inside my home and between me and pishi are so good now that I am afraid may be it's a dream. It's not right? 

Nothing and no one can separate us and nothing can ever happens that makes us leave each other. Mage na? 

Only I know that sometimes I have an episode of panic attack. It paralyzes me. It's been a while since i experienced it. I am lying on the sofa now and keep breathing so that I can feel normal again. 

Baby I am going to miss you and our house. Can't wait to come back to you😕

At hospital. How unfair. For a cold and fever

Next week, at this time, I will be in iran as oppose to sitting in the hospital and watching every drip of serum water. 

I swear none of these patients have anyone sitting beside their bed. 

God knows i would never do this for my own family. 

Thank god I am leaving and I don'tknow until when. I know that I don't know them that well but at least I am far away from those that I don't want to be around them anymore. 

Arguement on Friday night. 1 week before I leave for Ira...

Next week at this time, I am in the plane on the way to Qatar. 

Last night even though I was waiting for hjm the whole day, it didn't go as expected. 

He even mentioned that Better That You're Leaving :( 

I am not mad or sad today. When we argued and I was feeling like crap, it was 10:40 PM. Hope next week you won't miss me. If you did, remember this friday. I was so sad last night and couldn't argue or cry anymore. I needed a break from ladt week's arguement. I went down stairs and saw Kim who lives at LPH 01. She invited me to her apartment for a glass of wine. 

I went and it was very nice. 

He stayed home and had pizza by himself. 

This was the first time that after an arguement going to start to make me cry and crazy, i left. 

I hope, me leaving makes him happy as well. And if not, I hope when I get back things are better. 

Anyway I am not sad today. Just wanted to document this memory. 

And there are 6 days left before i leave for iran.