Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Confused....

I wanna have either a proffesional life or the most simplest life. 
God!! Please help me....
I am disappointedand tired

I wanna make money :(
Or  be the best wife!

Clear it for me...
I have tried my ass off. At least let me be the best in one of these

Monday, 9 June 2014

M small heart and this big world

In persian we have an expression thst says "my heart has grown thin recently". I think this is true about me. 
I can't call it getting hurt but there is this thing  inside my heart that gets sad and surprised by lots of things going on around me. Then I become alone and heal myself again till the next person comes around and tears that thin line in my heart again.  It feels like a woriness when this happens. 

Well!!! That's how it is I guess. 

Saturday, 31 May 2014

And sea horse made my day!!!

It was an absolutely beatiful day beside my baby and I in Toronto zoo. I saw the most adorable creature of the ocean and I'm still thrilled "sea horse". 


Thursday, 22 May 2014

Another proof that my parents are assholes

I woke up today and I saw mishka in my baby's arm. That's how my lovely handsome husband with that purple shirt on woke me up this morning and kissed me to say good bye. 

Then I called my mom and she brought up the fact that if i dont talk with my so called dad, it will take longer and we may never talk and i said i dont care. 
Then she started saying that it doesn't look good infront of my pishi and mom. And i told her it's your responsibilty. And when then I realized that I am being blamed for everyyyyyyyyything even for my brother wanting to leave them. Then i sweared to my dad as she didn't even give a shit about how o feel. Long story short, I realized that they don't even give a rat's ass to me, my well being and my emotions AS USUAL. 

Today I realized that I won't even give a crap to them anymore. They ruined my whole life. The best years of my life and whenever I gain that confodence to move on with my life, they jump in and fuck it up. 

However I think, i can't find any good explanation of why these ass holes should be offended so fuck them for good. 
I will never trust them as I never did until few years ago. Even in the past few years, they were the ones who I was always ashamed of. 

Let me live my life and don't even bring up any arguement with me as I don't even think about you guys any more.  I will throw you both out of my life in a black garbage bag and please you do the same with me. 

I sweared at my dad and I don't even care if you tell him what I said. I won't even pick up my phone if he calls soon as I know that they want me lose and will make me cry. 

Fair Well

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Termination with the team.... Genie

After 2 months of living in absolutely hopeful vibe and setting plan for future, i finally realized that they were false hopes and the team leader was as fake and as inexperienced as a one year agent who lived in dream like myself. 
Again I had to break a tie between what was fake ideal and get back to reality. 
Despite all, i learned very important lessons:
1- never rely on others for your success. Always hold the steering wheel in your hand and deal with reality
2- live in the moment and enjoy what you have. Be realistic
3- you should always take the stairs, then the ladder, and if you have done a great job, then feel free and take the elevator
4- always stay in full control. Use your vision, talent and potential. This will guide you to a long time success

This experience made me grow up a little more. Even though I put my pride and certainty on the table in front of everyone, I learned that none of theseincluding the pride matter. What matters the most is NOT GIVING UP and grow stronger to achieve your goal. 

I think these were worth mentioning and I am sure better days are ahead of us. 

GOD HELP THOSE WHO WANT TO HELP THEMSELVES!!!

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Dominane, decipline and kindness tame animals 
let alone human!!!!