Hectic job and not rewarding at all today :(

I have worked my ass off on preparing and understanding this last minute notice of how to deal CP. 

It sounds like, the more you work, the more people start expecting and not appreciating. 

I am so tired. It's 1:41 PM. I haven't had the chance to even go to the washroom whilr everybody are at break. I can say 99.99% are at break. 

Their daughter called me and told me to cover for her. 

She always does that. 

This job is fucking hectic and unfair

Unsafe and scared

How lonely and unprotected I feel these days. 

Work, my personal life and my future. All wrapped around me and pushing me. It feels as if I am suffocating now. I drink green tea right after the next one, so that I don't burst in tears. 

Even my husband thinks that i am unreasonable, spoiled, not a working material, and not ready to get challenged. He doesn't even feel what I feel anymore. That's ok. I keep getting dead end roads but the worst one is when you talk to the closest person to you, and he doesn't give you that comfort. He wants to but I guess he can't. So I won't blame him. 

It's me who is hurt badly. If according to him, i am that unfit to work environment, then i have no more plan except work. So i better die really. 

Nothing to care for. Not a small creature to care for or who needs me. Thank god whoever that is in my life is fully capable and doesn't need me to survive. 

Anyway! I guess i'll stop talking. Back to my loneliness

:( mercedes

Shit. They want me to negtiate with the biggest car industry in the world. There is a lot of story behind it. 

They just want me to jump into it. I dont have enough information and this marketing manager is too lazy to sit and familiariize me. 

God help me :( 

It's not fair :(

My body is full of sweat and freezing cold. 

I am about to cry today. 

Why couldn't just born rich?

TOMORROW!! My first of work. TONIGHT! A/X watch gift from pishi

Daddy just got me this gorgeous watch for the start of my work at I.N.K.A.S. 

I loveeee it. 

I was having this laundry going on in my stomach. After getting this watch it looks like that it's gone ;) lol

Tomorrow's my first day of work after forever. Being excited and a little uncomfortable. But well, every change brings anxiety and requires adjustment and new vision. Let's cheer to that

Just fed squirrels in the park

Was cleaning the house when i saw the sunshine just half an hr ago. Jumped in the car and took a huge bag of bread and food and took it to the park in front of our condo at Fleet. 

Fed Squirrels and god it feels amazing :) 

They are sooooo cuteeeeer

Celebrating my job offer tonight :)

What a memorable night. Wowwww

We celebrated my work tonight anf we diiiiid it wow i feel so good

Now it's time dor papa johns pizza philly steak :)

I am sad

Woke up this morning.  Had arguement. 

I am tired of .... Mmm never mind

I said get lost but that's normal reaction of every woman. He told me that I only invite them once. He never ever understands that this is just the stress. Not that i can't do it. Whatever... When you write it down, i downplay how hurt I am..

I will have a very sad day. 

Omg. I can hear him bubbling bla bla if you told him this. Thank god I can write in here.I said get lost snd he swore to me more and said whatever he could in that time frame. 

Anyway, life goes on. Today will also pass. What a life. 

I wish my last night dream would come true...

Thank you god for making me cry all day for whatever reason you find... 

I am starting to lose my respect for love... Probably there is not such a thing and as stupid as I always am, i wanted to believe in it