I will never forget this friday

I will never forget this friday evening. 2 more assignments due in 2 days. Have been sick for the past week. Haven't been anything any weekends except arguing on Saturdays and being on my own on cloudy rainy Sundays. Spending all weekends on 11th floor. In the past one month and a half, 2 nights out at his mom, 1 night at my parents, one time eating outside and one time 2 hrs movie theatres.

This morning, I was not wrong when I woke up with that heavy weight in my heart and tears in my eyes. It's 8 nights straight that I sleep by myself. And few days before that I slept 4-5 nights by myself because he was sick.

Today.... what can I say about today? That heavy weight, those cries, the sad home that I was sitting in, his call and he is sick again. I ment it when I said i am going to sleep and wake up early. It was around 6pm when i said that. He said he has washed his face with cold water and he is running in the streets. And I said I will not be home when you get home. He said that is not important. I packed my backpack, few clothes and got out.

God knows I have no energy down. I am breaking down in pieces. My heart is broken, my soul is broken, my body is so tired. Hod help me.
Somebody help me please...
Please...
Pleaseee...

I can't help it anymore. Hal bade. Az hame chiz dige daram mitarsam. I am very scared.
Teflaki delam... dige halam bad shod. The last bit of hope and enegy that ai had was killed just half hr ago. Hod help me.. please... i am begging you. I don't have anybody to rely on in this life...
Nobody....
Khodaya kasio nadashtam bahash darde del konam. Khodet midooni.. midooni kasio nadaram😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Tanam nemikeshe dava konam. Tanam nemikeshe gerye konam. Tanam tanhast