sick and lonely

It is 9:15 PM
I am very sick. I am very alone. no one is here to take care of me.
pishi went to second cup at king to study.
I am very sick and like most of the time in this life, no one is here to take care of me.
 I don't want to interrupt his concentration and I wanted him to go and study.
but I really need someone to give me soup and medicine and comfort. That's what I have always done for everybody.

I am writing this to remember these days and to remind pishi how I understanding I was so he won't tell me that I am not agreeable.
well, life has given me no option.
I threw up a lot now. I cried because I was scared that i would faint because I felt that I couldn't keep my balance . I sat in the washroom for 5 mins before I could get up from the toilet sink.

I wish someone was here to comfort me. I am very sick and I am very alone whenever I am sick.
I guess my rage and anger sometimes is because of all these things that draw on my unconscious.
I encouraged him to go and study because he doesn't have enough time to study during days. I prayed for him a lot and I hope one day he gets what he deserves. and I hope one day we become a normal united family.
anyways, I love our life and I hope one day it gets better.